Christmas Loot

Here are the books that a friend gave me last Christmas. You can see that one is about getting old and the other one is for a positive outlook. Hmm... what to infer from that? Well, one can deduce that I am a sad, aging cow. Oh! I know he means no harm when he gave me that. It just made me think quite a bit... am I really getting old? And I need to be happier. That one, I know I really need.

I read the books anyway. However, the book "Too Wise to Want to be Young Again" still don't apply to me. Let's say that those are for grannies. I would like to think that I am still at that point where I am making memories for my old age. Although as of the moment, I am not happy about the memories I am making. This is one low point in my lovelife. You might be suprised but I have one although it is not very healthy at this time. There are major issues that I need to resolve and some major decisions that I need to make.

I started this blog so I can have some form of release from everything that is plaguing me. But there are times when I fear that someone will judge me without really understanding what I am going through. And everything is just bottled deep inside me. That is the reason why I am not a happy camper these days. I carry so much guilt, so many thoughts, worries and doubts. I must admit that I am a worrier... I can't live my life not knowing. But of course I know there is a limit to what I can and what I ought to know. I will really be glad if a man for once will answer the same questions he himself ask of me.