Black and blue

This is not a very wonderful time for me. This is not the first time though but I still can’t get used to this feeling. I hate to be lonely… I hate feeling alone. Although I am technically not alone. I just feel that I am. Maybe it is because I can’t tell anyone what I truly feel at this point. Damn, I can’t even write it here. I wish I am brave enough to just go ahead and show the world what I really feel. Like I wrote in my previous post, I go around masking my feelings because that is what is expected of me. Or maybe it is what I want people to see. And honestly, I am getting tired of hiding it all. Sometimes I think maybe… just maybe, I will be happy if I could have my freedom. If I could just forget all about it and just go and be what I want to be. Maybe… just maybe.

I broke up with a boyfriend the other day and no one knows about it yet. Well, only a few people know about him anyway. Just two to be exact. The situation is kind of complicated. And we broke up because of that. We ended it amicably and I am fine. I am still sad though. I loved him in my own little way. But like I said the situation is complicated and things are better left that way.

I need to get out of this blues fast. If I wanted to get something out of this writing bit, I need to pull myself together and write everything logically. I’m sorry for whoever is reading this shit though, or if ever there is anyone who gives a damn. See… that is my problem, I know what to do but I can’t do it. I started to write this blog hoping to clear my mind and my heart of everything that is burdening me. But up until this time, I haven’t gotten around to really start digging.

I’ll try to nurse a broken heart first and when I am fine again maybe I will get around to doing it. So stay tuned…