Crash and burn

My mind is in shambles right now. I know what is right and what is wrong. I know that what I am doing is wrong but going the other way is just too hard for me at this point. I need love and I crave for every source that I can lay my hands on. To think that there are billions of people on earth... why is love so hard to find? Why? I wish I knew the answer to that. There is someone out there for me for everybody isn't it? Or is there really? What if it is all in the mind... a belief that man created so those poor broken souls like me can have something to look forward to? I wish I don't have to fall in love because getting up is always so difficult.