You are Spider-Man
| You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.  |
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Which Superhero Are You?
Your results:
You are Spider-Man
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
You are Spider-Man
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The Love Test
You're a Romantic High!
You just love to love, don't you? We can tell that you're a die-hard romantic who appreciates the deep sentiment that loving, meaningful words and actions bring to life. Love and romance go hand-in-hand for you, so you adore pouring on the terms of endearment, the hopeful promises, and the doting acts you think your fella deserves. Whether you're in an idealistic and caring mood or being sweet, playful, and impulsive, you're a giving partner who's eager to express how excited you are about your relationship. For you, love is all about sharing your feelings and making your significant other feel cherished. After all, the more often you reassure him of the strength of your emotions, the better, right? And you love tapping your creative side to express how much he means to you and how important you think his needs are. Congratulations — you really know how to celebrate your love.
By Tickle Tests
You just love to love, don't you? We can tell that you're a die-hard romantic who appreciates the deep sentiment that loving, meaningful words and actions bring to life. Love and romance go hand-in-hand for you, so you adore pouring on the terms of endearment, the hopeful promises, and the doting acts you think your fella deserves. Whether you're in an idealistic and caring mood or being sweet, playful, and impulsive, you're a giving partner who's eager to express how excited you are about your relationship. For you, love is all about sharing your feelings and making your significant other feel cherished. After all, the more often you reassure him of the strength of your emotions, the better, right? And you love tapping your creative side to express how much he means to you and how important you think his needs are. Congratulations — you really know how to celebrate your love.
By Tickle Tests
Monday, January 23, 2006
What's Your True Color?
Blue
You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!
By Tickle Tests
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Black and blue
This is not a very wonderful time for me. This is not the first time though but I still can’t get used to this feeling. I hate to be lonely… I hate feeling alone. Although I am technically not alone. I just feel that I am. Maybe it is because I can’t tell anyone what I truly feel at this point. Damn, I can’t even write it here. I wish I am brave enough to just go ahead and show the world what I really feel. Like I wrote in my previous post, I go around masking my feelings because that is what is expected of me. Or maybe it is what I want people to see. And honestly, I am getting tired of hiding it all. Sometimes I think maybe… just maybe, I will be happy if I could have my freedom. If I could just forget all about it and just go and be what I want to be. Maybe… just maybe.
I broke up with a boyfriend the other day and no one knows about it yet. Well, only a few people know about him anyway. Just two to be exact. The situation is kind of complicated. And we broke up because of that. We ended it amicably and I am fine. I am still sad though. I loved him in my own little way. But like I said the situation is complicated and things are better left that way.
I need to get out of this blues fast. If I wanted to get something out of this writing bit, I need to pull myself together and write everything logically. I’m sorry for whoever is reading this shit though, or if ever there is anyone who gives a damn. See… that is my problem, I know what to do but I can’t do it. I started to write this blog hoping to clear my mind and my heart of everything that is burdening me. But up until this time, I haven’t gotten around to really start digging.
I’ll try to nurse a broken heart first and when I am fine again maybe I will get around to doing it. So stay tuned…
I broke up with a boyfriend the other day and no one knows about it yet. Well, only a few people know about him anyway. Just two to be exact. The situation is kind of complicated. And we broke up because of that. We ended it amicably and I am fine. I am still sad though. I loved him in my own little way. But like I said the situation is complicated and things are better left that way.
I need to get out of this blues fast. If I wanted to get something out of this writing bit, I need to pull myself together and write everything logically. I’m sorry for whoever is reading this shit though, or if ever there is anyone who gives a damn. See… that is my problem, I know what to do but I can’t do it. I started to write this blog hoping to clear my mind and my heart of everything that is burdening me. But up until this time, I haven’t gotten around to really start digging.
I’ll try to nurse a broken heart first and when I am fine again maybe I will get around to doing it. So stay tuned…
Monday, January 16, 2006
I am a mess
I finally broke down yesterday. I was talking to a family friend and we have been discussing about what my parents think and say about me. It was all nice, like how lucky they were to have me and somehow at the middle of it, my tears just fell.
I told her how unhappy I am despite all I have. Sure I never lacked anything but deep inside I wanted someone. I got to admit that all these years, there is only one that I loved most and I want him back. I had some relationships and I dated a lot in the past years. But deep down, much as I want to deny, he is still in my heart. I tried hard to forget. The few relationships that I entered into are part of that forgetting process. Don’t get me wrong, I do love them but maybe not as deep. I stopped dating because I fear that nobody will ever replace him. I am taking a breather for myself.
She looked at me and said, “I didn’t know you are unhappy.”
It was the only time that I have admitted to someone in real world that I am not happy. She told me that she thought I was. I strike her as someone who will be happy living it all because I can go places, buy things on my own, have a nice family and most of all… she didn’t see it from just looking at me. I hide it all beautifully.
I guess my phone conversation with him the night before pushed me to this. That was the most meaningful conversation we had since our break up. Yes, we have been communicating still but past conversations was just a matter of courtesy and updating on what’s happening around us. That night we talked for hours and shared secrets. It was a game of bare all. We asked questions in turn and each has to answer truthfully even if the other thinks that it is too shameful to say. We promised not to judge or look down on each other no matter how it turned out.
I don’t know if it’s insanity but somehow… that made me see some hope for us. This and the realization that I still love him the same way I did before, I just couldn’t handle all that to myself anymore. I know that at some point I will have an over pouring. I wanted to believe that somewhere there will be a happy ending like in fairy tales but I don’t want to waste my time waiting for something that will never be.
I told her how unhappy I am despite all I have. Sure I never lacked anything but deep inside I wanted someone. I got to admit that all these years, there is only one that I loved most and I want him back. I had some relationships and I dated a lot in the past years. But deep down, much as I want to deny, he is still in my heart. I tried hard to forget. The few relationships that I entered into are part of that forgetting process. Don’t get me wrong, I do love them but maybe not as deep. I stopped dating because I fear that nobody will ever replace him. I am taking a breather for myself.
She looked at me and said, “I didn’t know you are unhappy.”
It was the only time that I have admitted to someone in real world that I am not happy. She told me that she thought I was. I strike her as someone who will be happy living it all because I can go places, buy things on my own, have a nice family and most of all… she didn’t see it from just looking at me. I hide it all beautifully.
I guess my phone conversation with him the night before pushed me to this. That was the most meaningful conversation we had since our break up. Yes, we have been communicating still but past conversations was just a matter of courtesy and updating on what’s happening around us. That night we talked for hours and shared secrets. It was a game of bare all. We asked questions in turn and each has to answer truthfully even if the other thinks that it is too shameful to say. We promised not to judge or look down on each other no matter how it turned out.
I don’t know if it’s insanity but somehow… that made me see some hope for us. This and the realization that I still love him the same way I did before, I just couldn’t handle all that to myself anymore. I know that at some point I will have an over pouring. I wanted to believe that somewhere there will be a happy ending like in fairy tales but I don’t want to waste my time waiting for something that will never be.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Cure for boredom...
...I know there are many but this is the only one available to me now. Don't you hate it when you know you have to finish something yet your body won't follow you? I am feeling exactly that right now. I have a report to finish but look at what I am doing... I am making a post to this blog. I could get fired for this, right? Hope not. Sometimes I ask myself why I even bother to write when obviously no one reads this site. I wish I have more friends. And since I don't have that many now, I'll just write here hoping that the internet will not tire of me yet.
I have been like this for about a week now. This could be a result of all the things that is bugging me. I need to find a decent yet cheap apartment, there are bills to pay, a lovelife to sort out... just to name a few. Life is just too sweet to me and never fails to give me something to work out. Hay! Well, that's life. You never know what you're gonna get next time.
I wonder if there are people who are actually worry-free. If there are please let me know. I admit that I am a worrier and that causes me more problem than what I already have. I want to stop being one. I just don't know how.
Well, it's time to go back to work. Enough of my ramblings.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Dream
I had this dream some time ago now, two weeks perhaps. The peculiar thing about this is that I don't normally remember dreams this vividly for this long. Some dreams are, as they are wont to be, fades from memory once my conscious mind took over. I wouldn't have mind this if the message is not so clear.
In my dream, an ex came back and made peace with me. It was nice and all... only that he asked me to marry him on Sept. 23, 2006. I was speechless and I could not believe I am hearing it right. I don't know but somehow in my dream I know that the day was sometime in June 2006. See... the marriage proposal was reasonable because normally here in my country, marriage preparations can be made in 2 months time. The dream ended there, with the camera focused on my face showing mixed emotions: indecision, surprise, fear and happiness.
I am not sure why I had that dream or why that intensity. It was likely, yes but something that I am not sure I want. What am I saying? Maybe I am just panicking subconsciously knowing that I am not getting any younger and I need to start a family soon if I ever want to have kids. But... why that date? Why him? Why can't I erase it from my mind? I'm telling you, it is nagging my brains everytime I have a free time. It is just there inside my head. Waiting for every opportunity to remind me of its presence.
What makes things more hazy is that... my lovelife is not in a very good shape now. I will discuss the details later when I am ready. But for now suffice it to say that everything seems falling apart.
I wish to get my life back on track.
In my dream, an ex came back and made peace with me. It was nice and all... only that he asked me to marry him on Sept. 23, 2006. I was speechless and I could not believe I am hearing it right. I don't know but somehow in my dream I know that the day was sometime in June 2006. See... the marriage proposal was reasonable because normally here in my country, marriage preparations can be made in 2 months time. The dream ended there, with the camera focused on my face showing mixed emotions: indecision, surprise, fear and happiness.
I am not sure why I had that dream or why that intensity. It was likely, yes but something that I am not sure I want. What am I saying? Maybe I am just panicking subconsciously knowing that I am not getting any younger and I need to start a family soon if I ever want to have kids. But... why that date? Why him? Why can't I erase it from my mind? I'm telling you, it is nagging my brains everytime I have a free time. It is just there inside my head. Waiting for every opportunity to remind me of its presence.
What makes things more hazy is that... my lovelife is not in a very good shape now. I will discuss the details later when I am ready. But for now suffice it to say that everything seems falling apart.
I wish to get my life back on track.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Some positive thinking
I got this from an email. I am not a big fan of forwarded messages, especially those that scare you into passing the message on or you would have bad luck if not. Those are just annoying. I mean if you want to remember someone, why not just pass the email on but forego the threat part. But this one, I really like and I have to share it to you. This is nice, finding positive out of every negative, which we don't always manage to do. We could use this as a mantra whenever we got caught up in things that almost drive us into madness sometimes.
I am thankful...
1. For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep with me and not with someone else.
2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means she is at home & not on the streets.
3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.
4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.
5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
7. For a floor that needs mopping and windows that need cleaning because it means I have a home.
8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means that we have freedom of speech.
9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.
10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbors because it means that I can hear.
11. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.
12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.
13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am still alive.
AND FINALLY ....... for received e-mails because it means I have friends who are thinking of me, at least.
I hope that helps.
I am thankful...
1. For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep with me and not with someone else.
2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means she is at home & not on the streets.
3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.
4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.
5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
7. For a floor that needs mopping and windows that need cleaning because it means I have a home.
8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it means that we have freedom of speech.
9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.
10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbors because it means that I can hear.
11. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.
12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.
13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am still alive.
AND FINALLY ....... for received e-mails because it means I have friends who are thinking of me, at least.
I hope that helps.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Like I don't know!
You scored as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Congratulations! You are obsessive-compulsive! You know nothing curbs images of mutilating your mother like a good counting/checking/washing ritual... wait, DID you forget to turn off the stove???
Which mental disorder do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder | 75% | ||
Eating Disorders | 58% | ||
Unipolar Depression | 58% | ||
Borderline Personality Disorder | 42% | ||
Antisocial Personality Disorder | 33% | ||
Schizophrenia | 17% |
Which mental disorder do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Bikers abound...
When driving around and there are lots of bikers darting here and there like asteroids in the sky, remember this...
Enough said.
"Matter occupy space, and they matter."
Enough said.
Christmas Loot
Here are the books that a friend gave me last Christmas. You can see that one is about getting old and the other one is for a positive outlook. Hmm... what to infer from that? Well, one can deduce that I am a sad, aging cow. Oh! I know he means no harm when he gave me that. It just made me think quite a bit... am I really getting old? And I need to be happier. That one, I know I really need. I read the books anyway. However, the book "Too Wise to Want to be Young Again" still don't apply to me. Let's say that those are for grannies. I would like to think that I am still at that point where I am making memories for my old age. Although as of the moment, I am not happy about the memories I am making. This is one low point in my lovelife. You might be suprised but I have one although it is not very healthy at this time. There are major issues that I need to resolve and some major decisions that I need to make.
I started this blog so I can have some form of release from everything that is plaguing me. But there are times when I fear that someone will judge me without really understanding what I am going through. And everything is just bottled deep inside me. That is the reason why I am not a happy camper these days. I carry so much guilt, so many thoughts, worries and doubts. I must admit that I am a worrier... I can't live my life not knowing. But of course I know there is a limit to what I can and what I ought to know. I will really be glad if a man for once will answer the same questions he himself ask of me.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Echoes of our hearts
From an e-mail:
****************
Echoes of our hearts
Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to
the echoes of our hearts. We all fall inlove and
there are times when we love so much that we
lose ourselves in our own emotion. More often than
not, we wonder why there are love that grows, and
love that grows cold. We would start to search for
answers and try to find where love has gone wrong.
But in the end, we find ourselves where we started
for we cannot question love when it has its own
reasons. Love will always be as it always has
been silent, mysterious and deeply profound.
Many of us believe that love is forever, that love
never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when
we found our hands empty and our hearts longing.
We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be
fulfilled. But love is only a gift given to us. We
should not hold it in our hands for we may never
find the strength to let it go when it decides to
leave. We should only embrace its warmth and
glow while it last and then freely open our arms
when its time to say goodbye.
When we fall in love with someone, we dont want
that feeling to end for it is everything that we
wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow
in our hearts. But, if it doesnt then we should
never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not
end where heartaches begin.
There is always a reason why we have to move on.
When we have to say goodbye to the feelings we
wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hands
with the heavy heart. For love will have to set its
wings free and find that place where it belongs. We
may have lost it but then again, when we close our
eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will
hear that feeling resounding silently forever.
Then well know that it has never left us, for the
good that we have become because of love will
always stay. It will always be there reminding us
that we should be thankful and happy, not because
we have lost love, but because for once in our
lives, that feeling lived in our hearts and made us
happy.
****************
Echoes of our hearts
Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to
the echoes of our hearts. We all fall inlove and
there are times when we love so much that we
lose ourselves in our own emotion. More often than
not, we wonder why there are love that grows, and
love that grows cold. We would start to search for
answers and try to find where love has gone wrong.
But in the end, we find ourselves where we started
for we cannot question love when it has its own
reasons. Love will always be as it always has
been silent, mysterious and deeply profound.
Many of us believe that love is forever, that love
never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when
we found our hands empty and our hearts longing.
We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be
fulfilled. But love is only a gift given to us. We
should not hold it in our hands for we may never
find the strength to let it go when it decides to
leave. We should only embrace its warmth and
glow while it last and then freely open our arms
when its time to say goodbye.
When we fall in love with someone, we dont want
that feeling to end for it is everything that we
wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow
in our hearts. But, if it doesnt then we should
never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not
end where heartaches begin.
There is always a reason why we have to move on.
When we have to say goodbye to the feelings we
wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hands
with the heavy heart. For love will have to set its
wings free and find that place where it belongs. We
may have lost it but then again, when we close our
eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will
hear that feeling resounding silently forever.
Then well know that it has never left us, for the
good that we have become because of love will
always stay. It will always be there reminding us
that we should be thankful and happy, not because
we have lost love, but because for once in our
lives, that feeling lived in our hearts and made us
happy.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
One of those times...
I have been thinking a lot lately about my future...not the career side though. I was more focused on what I want with my life as a person, as a woman. At my age of 27, it is only right that I rethink what I want to have and what I want to be when I grow old. If I acted early on the decision I will have, then there will still be time to establish what I want to be to get what I want to have. Sounds confusing? So is my state of mind and heart right now.
One thing about being 27 in the Philippines is that people expects you to settle down or at least be thinking of settling down. If getting married is settling down is another matter but that is how they call it. Anyway, some single friends say that 27 is still young at this generation. They have a point there. As for me, I don't think I have ever fully enjoyed singlehood. But there are also times when I saw my former classmates and see their kids with them that I find some longing in my heart. But then, I couldn't really compare. They might have made a nice domestic lives but they don't have satisfying careers. Everybody have to make choices. Although at times these choices comes in with a price.
I got a lot on my mind right now. I wanted to look inside my heart for the answer but I am also afraid of what I am going to see there.
One thing about being 27 in the Philippines is that people expects you to settle down or at least be thinking of settling down. If getting married is settling down is another matter but that is how they call it. Anyway, some single friends say that 27 is still young at this generation. They have a point there. As for me, I don't think I have ever fully enjoyed singlehood. But there are also times when I saw my former classmates and see their kids with them that I find some longing in my heart. But then, I couldn't really compare. They might have made a nice domestic lives but they don't have satisfying careers. Everybody have to make choices. Although at times these choices comes in with a price.
I got a lot on my mind right now. I wanted to look inside my heart for the answer but I am also afraid of what I am going to see there.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Bummer! The bumper got bumped...
I had a minor accident this morning along Nichols. I wasn't hurt nor any of my passengers. That's something to be thankful for. Because of the really heavy traffic, we had to forego the police report and just agreed that we will settle this on ourselves. Maybe that's stupidity on my part but I was also pressed for time and I know how long this process takes. As of my writing this, I am still waiting for the driver to call me... he promised he will. I hope he is not going to chicken out because I don't have money for repaint right now.The funny thing about this is that I have this uneasy feeling for two weeks prior to this. I know that something will happen to me and the car. Luckily, it is just something minor. I am still lucky in some ways!
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Crash and burn
My mind is in shambles right now. I know what is right and what is wrong. I know that what I am doing is wrong but going the other way is just too hard for me at this point. I need love and I crave for every source that I can lay my hands on. To think that there are billions of people on earth... why is love so hard to find? Why? I wish I knew the answer to that. There is someone out there for me for everybody isn't it? Or is there really? What if it is all in the mind... a belief that man created so those poor broken souls like me can have something to look forward to? I wish I don't have to fall in love because getting up is always so difficult.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Thursday, November 10, 2005
I am only human...
There are times when I think that I am ready for whatever the world will throw against me but I was wrong. Just because you see me standing up doesn't mean I didn't weep inside. It has been the most common misconception by those who don't know me well enough. They think I am strong, that I am clever, that I am almost perfect. But who is? I know I am not and it is a big burden when people think that I am. When people wants to believe that I am.
When I saw the movie The Notebook, I know that this will be one of my favorite love stories. In fact this is the top one as of now. The girl here is far from perfect, she has her temper and childish. But despite it all, she was loved. A love that endures... that waits...is everlasting. I wish I could find something like that too. Someone who will also love me not because of my strengths but because of my whole self, my faults and all. Wouldn't it be so nice to be not afraid to be your self and say what is on your mind to someone you love without fearing that he will see you differently because of that?
At most, I just want to be understood, for someone not to expect me to always do the right thing. I am only human. I err, fall and stumble, and get my foot in my mouth too. God knows how I wish for someone to love and to love me back. It is just so hard knowing who that person is. When will I meet him... or did I already but just don't know?
When I saw the movie The Notebook, I know that this will be one of my favorite love stories. In fact this is the top one as of now. The girl here is far from perfect, she has her temper and childish. But despite it all, she was loved. A love that endures... that waits...is everlasting. I wish I could find something like that too. Someone who will also love me not because of my strengths but because of my whole self, my faults and all. Wouldn't it be so nice to be not afraid to be your self and say what is on your mind to someone you love without fearing that he will see you differently because of that?At most, I just want to be understood, for someone not to expect me to always do the right thing. I am only human. I err, fall and stumble, and get my foot in my mouth too. God knows how I wish for someone to love and to love me back. It is just so hard knowing who that person is. When will I meet him... or did I already but just don't know?
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Reborn!
I want to think that this blog will be my new beginning, a new chapter in my life. I had a blog before but I have to leave it. And with this new start I got myself a new name, which I hope is appropriate...Althea.
From the Greek name Αλθαια (Althaia), perhaps related to Greek αλθος (althos) "healing". In Greek myth she was the mother of Meleager. Soon after her son was born she was told that he would die as soon as a piece of wood that was burning on her fire was fully consumed. She immediately extinguished the piece of wood and sealed it in a chest, but in a fit of rage many years later she took it out and set it alight, thereby killing her son.
I do wish that this new journey will turn out for the better.
From the Greek name Αλθαια (Althaia), perhaps related to Greek αλθος (althos) "healing". In Greek myth she was the mother of Meleager. Soon after her son was born she was told that he would die as soon as a piece of wood that was burning on her fire was fully consumed. She immediately extinguished the piece of wood and sealed it in a chest, but in a fit of rage many years later she took it out and set it alight, thereby killing her son.
I do wish that this new journey will turn out for the better.
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